The art of reflection

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Reflection is something that I have learnt to do a lot this year and something that I actually believe to be crucial to our success in adulthood. Whilst in my teen years and earlier twenties, I was often reckless, I made decisions often fuelled by emotion and didn't take time to reflect on situations or to take a deep breath instead of reacting. There is something about looking at a situation, and sitting down and taking time to think about it, a really good long hard look at it,  to sleep on it, to think about it again the next day, to discuss it with your friends and try wherever possible to understand the other perspective whether that be another person or just another way something could have worked out. Some people are natural reflectors, normally those with a more logical personalities, I have never fallen into that camp, I have always been spontaneous and wore my heart on my sleeve meaning I often react to situations more quickly and make rash decisions.

I wanted to write to reflect on 2018, more for me than for anyone else however, it felt a bit soon - we are only in Mid-November and still have another month to go. Then I thought about it, surely reflection should form a part of monthly, weekly and every day life. When we reflect, we learn, we can analyse mistakes and decide to take some wisdom from them. I think the art of reflection - no matter where we are in life is probably one of the best things we as humans can do. So without further a do, here is the Gem roundup of 2018 and all of the things I have learnt and experienced so far:

Travel
I have learnt to love travelling, to enjoy experiencing new cultures, to have a desire to see more of what the world can offer. As a highly anxious person I have found travelling difficult in the past however, feel I have really embraced it over the last year and although, I haven't explored the whole world and haven't even ventured outside of Europe yet - I am really proud of the places I have visited this year and feel that the breaks and the memories I have made will last a lifetime. I visited Dublin, Ireland for New Years which was just so fantastic - the Irish know how to party and I am so excited to be spending my new years in Dublin again this year. I also visited Rome,  Italy which was possibly my favourite destination ever - the culture and history was just incredible and every time you turned the corner in Rome you would stumble across something really beautiful and breathtaking. In the summer I ventured to one of the Canary Islands, Tenerife and I also visited Rhodes in Greece with some of my girls for two really relaxing holidays, both were lovely, great for catching some rays and some sunshine. Each trip will forever hold some great memories for me and I think it's really important that I continue to explore new horizons and experience more of the world in 2019. On my list for next year are an American Trip mainly to Vegas, New York and LA and I also want to visit Paris and Amsterdam.


Relationships
Possibly one of the biggest lessons I learnt this year was around companionship and love. I was lucky enough this year to meet somebody who was incredible. They became my best friend and team mate instantly and we had one of those connections that you don't really feel will ever happen to you. It didn't ever seem possible to me to find somebody who was my best friend, partner in crime and somebody who I loved. Unfortunately, due to timing and where we both are in our lives it didn't really work out. What I learnt? Heartbreak is harder when you really care about the person. In other breakups I didn't have the same amount of mutual respect for the other person. When you really love someone all you want is for them to be content and happy. I learnt that when you are with the right person it makes you a better version of yourself, they will help you strive to be better, to want to work harder and to achieve more, they will back you at any minute and they will want you to be all that you can be without ever trying to hold you back. Life is tough and to have somebody in your life who makes every day seem easier is a real plus. I guess I learnt not to settle, the relationships I have in the future will need to be of this magnitude and I am a big believer that if you experience true love and you let it go, it will come back to you. It was important that I closed this chapter for now, but I would never rule out re-opening it.

The other relationships I invested heavily in this year were the ones with my friends and family. I feel like this year was the year where I realised who I wanted in my circle, who I didn't need and who was going to be in it forever. I no longer chase those friendships which are half hearted or one-sided. I let go of those relationships that were toxic or negative. I have a really close and small circle of best friends and those friendships are incredible, I've worked really hard to keep a strong connection with these people, to help them through their bad days and what I have found from investing in the right relationships is that you will never feel alone, you will always have great people around you if you decide who those great people are and work to build your friendships. My best friends have made me feel so loved and supported all year and my family are just angels and I am so lucky to have such a supportive network around me.





















Self Love 
The other love I learnt a lot about this year was self love. Self care, self love, 'putting yourself first sistaaa' is something I read constantly on the internet, it's all over Pinterest, people tweet about it and to be quite honest until this year I had no clue what the hell it meant. I struggle with anxiety, I have had some really sad and down times and by nature, I am very empathetic, I care more about others than I do myself, I prioritise other people and their feelings more than I do my own. This is not healthy and this year I learnt that. Last year, after years of suffering I went to hypnotherapy and cured my insomnia and learnt ways to deal with my anxiety. This year, from the very start I decided to focus on myself, I stopped saying 'Yes' to absolutely everything and overcommitting myself, I started to read books about personal development, improvement and growth. I exercised more. I started to journal and write down my thoughts, I started to practice gratitude and positivity. I started to take more 'me' time. This doesn't mean that this year has been easy or that I've not had moments where I had a panic attack, was up all night and felt completely out of control of my world. It doesn't mean that at all. But what it does mean is that I have achieved so much this year, i've spent the majority of the year laughing and smiling. I see the positive in almost everything, learn lessons from my mistakes and always try to grow and be a better person. This month I have struggled with anxiety again following breaking my foot and being stuck in my house far too long. I have got straight back to it, i've allowed myself a bad day, I read books, I watched inspirational people via Ted Talks, I re-downloaded my meditation apps, I surrounded myself with only positive people, I deleted Facebook and took a break from social media. And all of these things have helped me, I don't think I will ever stand up and say that I am fantastic or that I am 100% happy with the person I am. But I will say, that I try my best, I'm kind and thoughtful and I bring out the best in other people, I would be missed if I was to disappear tomorrow and I know that I have a really bright future ahead of myself if I continue to work hard at being the healthiest, best version of myself. In that respect and after writing that all down, I feel quite emotional - there was a time when I really couldn't see the wood through the trees and I felt I would never conquer feeling awful and now I can sit here and say that instead of crying daily, I cry once a month and I smile daily and that progress is something I am really bloody proud of.

Career Building
For those of you who know me you will know I work for the NHS and have for the past 6 years, it is a rollercoaster ride, it is difficult to work in the face of such public and political pressure and I think all NHS workers are really trying to hard to keep what sometimes feels like a sinking ship a float. For me, this year I finally worked out what I wanted to do with my life, I finally worked out what I was good at and I finally conquered some fears. This year I went from the girl who would sit in the corner of the meeting and not really contribute to the girl who would stand in lecture theatres in front of hundreds of people and help to change their behaviours. I became somebody who inspired others, I would walk into Theatres and Wards completely out of the comfort zone of my desk and I would talk to people, I would help them to find solutions, I would take their negative mindset and help them to find a positive one. I would coach people, I would help to learn, I would help them to feel better by the simple power of changing their mindset and it made a difference. It made a difference to me, it made a difference to them but it also made a difference to lives of patients. I've spent time sat in the Chemotherapy Ward and i've helped the nursing team become more effective, to consider their behaviours, their mindset and to look at things through the patients perspective. This was huge. The sense of achievement from going into work and making a real difference to peoples lives is incredible, it's something I would never give up, it's simply the best feeling in the world when we get it right. That does not mean i've not had challenges, I was petrified of public speaking, but the power of the mind means you can overcome those hurdles you didn't think you could. Later on in the year, I had other challenges such as dealing with some difficult work relationships, that's tough and being professional in the face of adversity is difficult. But what I have learnt is to be kind no matter what but to send boundaries and stand up for yourself.

I would say that all of that is pretty bad ass for one year, I am so excited for the next chapter of my life, for 2019 to come rocking and rolling in and for me to become even more than I have this year. The journey to self discovery is challenging but so worth while and rewarding. In 2019 I want to achieve the following:

• Get my blog on - It is so therapeutic to write. I love to write and I love my blog and I want to get it back to the best it could be and invest a lot of my spare time in it. I think having a hobby is really important.
• Start my Psychology Degree - As i've said i'm naturally empathetic and kind and I love to help people, I found my niche this year in human interaction and I want to understand the human brain more. Next year I want to begin my Psychology degree and I want to continue to learn more about the area I feel really passionate about.
• Health and Wellbeing - Next year is the year that I want to continue on my self love / mental health journey but also I want to step up exercising and becoming a healthier version of me so I have the most energy to conquer whatever next year throws at me.

Let me know what your yearly reflections are and your goals for moving forward! I'd love to hear all about it.

x